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I Don't Deserve to Vape at Starbucks part 1

I Don't Deserve to Vape at Starbucks part 1
I Don't Deserve To Vape at Starbucks part 1

Vaping looks like smoking. Sit with it for a second... breathe it in and deal with it. It looks dirty and irresponsible. Wait...stop fuming and just consider it. With New York placing the same unilateral policies on all cigarettes (even those of the electronic lineage) the new second class citizen phase of e-cigarettes is coming along nicely...Now accept this; it is our fault.

                 I'm a coffee shop guy. So I'm authorized to tell you upfront- that I have lost all "insider" and elitist coffee shop guy credibility because I frequent Starbucks. Oh I know...they're the devil; they've destroyed small business coffee shops and they have a funnel from Satan's ass that acts as a heating tank streaming goop directly into their "house blend." I hear you...and I don't care.
You see; Somewhere around the age of 20,  I became far less interested in what permanently fried-out, elbow pad wearing, 40 somethings had to say about Christopher Hitchens' latest essay. I needed a break. Don't get me wrong,  I loved the small coffee shop. I loved the funky couches and their mystery stains. I loved the bad wall art and the piece of shit piano that seemingly no one could play well. I loved the fringe culture and the shiftlessness of our entire non-movement...and... I also fucking hated them. It was perfect. Somewhere along the line- the balance swung and I settled on going corporate.
          That's right; corporate coffee, corporate books, corporate muffins and so on. I mean real corporate coffee. The kind with no soul and even less flavor. I wanted a venue that had no character. Where assholes of my exact brand could spout off about anything and be treated like the vapid know-nothings we really were. Hormone induced, stimulating conversation had become too much work.
         Enter Borders Books and Music of Winston Salem. Borders had all the idiocy of your local coffee shop but added all of the horrific humanity of your local Walmart. It was perfect. The kind of place that would treat you insignificant after three years of loyal patronage. I was in no danger of ever getting a sense of involvement at a place like this.
     "Oh you bought coffee here every day for 728 days consecutively? Well, we're still gonna ask if you'll have a sandwich with that order. Fuck you-you're a number."  Teeny boppers would sit in semi circles reading Harry Potter books while the annoyed middle- agers would shout crass comments about their awful generation. I had graduated to a less soul moving, less small business minded, less involved class and it would be just the right training ground I would need to ready myself for the heartland of soulless America...


In June 2013 Starbucks passed a company wide ruling that restricted smokers from being within 25 feet of their buildings. Wrapped neatly into their little safe heaven smoke free zone was the part about e-cigarette users. We, too, were restricted. Back to the outside... How could Starbucks do this to me? How could a company that generated 3.4 billion dollars in 2012 not care about my need to vape with one hand and play on the internet with the other- all inside the confines of my local cafe?

Oh...that's right. 

     I wasn't surprised about the ruling. We were destined to be treated like the cigarette community; after all 97% of the electronic cigarette business relies on people that want to use a mock cigarette. What I was surprised over was my reaction. I was actually let down. That's when I realized that the science of Starbucks was a little faulty...yes they do harm small business, but that doesn't make their company completely undependable.

My Starbucks felt like mine. It is a coffee house and it feels like a coffee house. My Starbucks is brimming with culture...and  people with no culture...which means it's exactly what life is. It's perfect. It was perfect...and then they didn't want me anymore. My Starbucks is a lot of things... 

  But it isn't mine. Starbucks isn't mine, smoking isn't mine, ashtrays aren't mine, smoke breaks aren't mine... all of these things belong to a culture...but they don't belong to my culture anymore. 

 The larger issue at the center of Vaping is the legal slander and faulty science used against us, but the cultural and societal issue at the heart of our trend is a question; who are we? Where is our Starbucks, hangouts, ritual activities and sense of belonging? 

I don't deserve to Vape at Starbucks... I deserve to vape at the place that marketed to me specifically and said "I want your business."  (part two: Let's find our identity before Starbucks does it for us edition  coming soon)


The views and opinions expressed by MoocH 1 are completely his and his alone. There is no one...and the Rock means NO ONE that should share in his views. Sharing isn't even caring when it's concering MoocH's views. Thinking that any sponsor on the planet Earth would share MoocH's points of view is absolute falsity at it's finest. 


If you are vaping and NOT saving 12% it's time to join the Nside Trader Pro Program. 

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