You Ain't Getting Your Hands on My Vape!
Remember a time when everyone was concerned about unauthorized cell phone usage; and they came out with all these wacky facial recognition software and "fingerprint" scanners and everyone thought they needed it?
How many of you actually use that shit? I have a feeling its a lot closer to 0 then it is to most.
Now, remember how you have said the same thing to yourself 100 times about your vaporizer, and how you wish there was a way to keep those unwanted mouths off of your tips? The Answer is HERE!
Vapor X was announced yesterday at CES 2014 in Las Vegas.
Here's a quote from these wack-jobs "The next trend in alternative smoking devices is the personalized vaporizer that incorporates the technology that we expect from our high-end tech devices. Today we are debuting the newest technology in this space," says Kevin Frija, CEO of Vapor Corp. "By incorporating this biometric user identity technology into the Vapor X personal vaporizer, the door is opened to many customizable features. The fingerprint lock security allows customers to protect their device from use by another individual and this same technology will lead to the development of additional features and controls," continues Frija. "Much like the fitness mobile app technology we have seen gain recent popularity, vaporizer users will soon be able to download their 'vaping' statistics through a corresponding mobile application in order to track exactly how often they use the device.
Vapor X sounds like a big bowl of gippity goop to me. They are saying that the device will retail between $199 and $299; which is pretty high for a price point for an ecig. Are we all having our magical PENIS' stolen right from under us? Is this the new epidemic sweeping the nation: Stolen MVP's?
I think there is 1, and only 1 reason to have this technology and that's to keep unauthorized minors from puffing on your vape while you are vacuuming up animal cookies. In that case, I can totally get it.
But they never mentioned that as their point, their point was making it useless if it is involved in a theft.
Wanna get in on the action? Listen to the podcast EVERY Sunday
Where's the GPS Tracker? I think that would be a more relevant technology if theft is the concern. Or fuck, even a low jack of some sort.
But a fucking fingerprint scanner? Are our vaping habits that dire to where this is ever necessary?
And what I really love, their future technologies that download your statistics. Do people really give a fuck about how many puffs they take?
Lemme ask you this: when you were a smoker, did you want to know the statistics behind how many minutes your smoke breaks were, or how many drags a cigarette lasted for? No; no one gave a damn.
My thoughts were, and still are, give me nicotine. Now.
This is very likely the first, of a long line of failed and unnecessary announcements coming in the e-cig world; and we will see that the crowd will continue to push themselves toward easier use items. No one wants MORE complicated; as some of these devices are complicated enough as it is.
Playboy, are you seeing this? Where is our herpes tester for our e-cigs?
By god, if I'm letting people put my tip in their mouth, that's the kinda technology I want.
The views and opinions of Freeze are not necessarily shared by The TVA, The TVA Show, Or any of our TVA Sponsors, up to and including the next one I am about to plug.
This blog has been sponsored by Southern Vapes LLC
- Chris Winfrey